I love it on the bed! On the floor! On a towel by the door! In a tub! In a car! Up against the mini-bar!
I wouldn't say I'm exactly "friendly" to it, though.
I wish...
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I Knew It!
I knew it loved me as much as I love it!
I love it on the bed! On the floor! On a towel by the door! In a tub! In a car! Up against the mini-bar!
I wouldn't say I'm exactly "friendly" to it, though.
I wish...
I love it on the bed! On the floor! On a towel by the door! In a tub! In a car! Up against the mini-bar!
I wouldn't say I'm exactly "friendly" to it, though.
I wish...
"The Torture Playlist"
This is going to be a quick post...
I was doing my early-mid-morning check of The Onion when I read a little blog that linked to this article in Mother Jones. It lists some songs the U.S. Military uses to torture detainees in this War on Terror:
AC/DC’s “Hells Bells,” Metallica’s “Enter Sandman,” Drowning Pool’s “Bodies“), Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America,” Don MacLean’s “American Pie,” Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.“, the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive,” Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty,” Prince’s “Raspberry Beret“, and TV theme songs (Barney, Sesame Street, the song from the Meow Mix commercial).
I'll let it be known that I am NOT a supporter of torture in any way, shape or form. You can say what you want about it being a successful interrogation tactic, but it brings the interrogator -- and the military, government, and country it represents -- to the same despicable level as the terror suspects themselves. Police aren't allowed to torture criminal suspects. They can't even touch their suspects without getting in trouble, let alone torture them. And I think "inducing sleep deprivation" falls under that category.
Also, how do you think the artists in that playlist feel? I don't just mean in terms of their consciences, but it's gotta hurt some of their egos to find out their songs are so unlistenable that they're used as torture. Goll-eee!
P.S. It cracks me up to see the Meow Mix theme song in that playlist. "I wants chicken, I wants liver. Meow Mix, Meow Mix please deliver!!" Can't deny the U.S. Military has a sense of humor... albeit a sick and twisted one.
I was doing my early-mid-morning check of The Onion when I read a little blog that linked to this article in Mother Jones. It lists some songs the U.S. Military uses to torture detainees in this War on Terror:
AC/DC’s “Hells Bells,” Metallica’s “Enter Sandman,” Drowning Pool’s “Bodies“), Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America,” Don MacLean’s “American Pie,” Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.“, the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive,” Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty,” Prince’s “Raspberry Beret“, and TV theme songs (Barney, Sesame Street, the song from the Meow Mix commercial).
I'll let it be known that I am NOT a supporter of torture in any way, shape or form. You can say what you want about it being a successful interrogation tactic, but it brings the interrogator -- and the military, government, and country it represents -- to the same despicable level as the terror suspects themselves. Police aren't allowed to torture criminal suspects. They can't even touch their suspects without getting in trouble, let alone torture them. And I think "inducing sleep deprivation" falls under that category.
Also, how do you think the artists in that playlist feel? I don't just mean in terms of their consciences, but it's gotta hurt some of their egos to find out their songs are so unlistenable that they're used as torture. Goll-eee!
P.S. It cracks me up to see the Meow Mix theme song in that playlist. "I wants chicken, I wants liver. Meow Mix, Meow Mix please deliver!!" Can't deny the U.S. Military has a sense of humor... albeit a sick and twisted one.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I'm On The Air!!
I did a podcast with two of my closest and most trusted colleagues tonight, Mikeyfilmmaker of "Spaghetti Sauce and Sweat Peas" and Kyle of "Why I Will Never Be a Famous Writer," and I gotta say -- it's pretty damn good. I ramble here and there and here again, but somehow we managed to make it last a full hour. You can check it out here.
Oh, and I've thinking about a few things I said in the podcast... Mike said he considers the Oscar acceptance speeches to be a great chance for winners to inspire their fans, and it's a shame when they give only a cursory "Thank You," a la Ethan Coen. In my response to this statement I realized that, as a wannabe TV writer, the greatest accomplishment I could ever hope to achieve would be to have my creation be broadcast on national television. I wouldn't care so much about an award after this, but I know for a fact that I would bawl my big brown eyes out to see my words being brought to life on the screen. The idea gives me goosebumps... And not just because I can summon them on command (for real, ask anybody). It's nice to have something to aspire to. If not, what's the point of living?
Oh, and I've thinking about a few things I said in the podcast... Mike said he considers the Oscar acceptance speeches to be a great chance for winners to inspire their fans, and it's a shame when they give only a cursory "Thank You," a la Ethan Coen. In my response to this statement I realized that, as a wannabe TV writer, the greatest accomplishment I could ever hope to achieve would be to have my creation be broadcast on national television. I wouldn't care so much about an award after this, but I know for a fact that I would bawl my big brown eyes out to see my words being brought to life on the screen. The idea gives me goosebumps... And not just because I can summon them on command (for real, ask anybody). It's nice to have something to aspire to. If not, what's the point of living?
Friday, February 22, 2008
Last Night's Democratic Presidential Debate
I've been very happy since I moved into my new cubicle. Other than having to put up with Loud Woman (who's talking loudly this very instant AND pacing near my desk), I have a lot of perks. My favorite is the 25-inch TV I have tuned onto CNN, because for some odd reason, I enjoy hearing the EXACT same ridiculous stories about the upcoming Presidential Election.
All day yesterday CNN had a clock counting down the hours, minutes and seconds until the much-hyped debate at the University of Texas in Austin. I will admit that I fell into the Ticker Trap and was anxiously awaiting the start of the debate. Come 5:00 PST, I was ready. Come 5:02 PST, I was bored and disappointed. Why did I even bother getting my hopes up, I asked myself. This wasn't going to be an interesting debate, and I should have known that. Obama and Clinton are both Democrats. They share a lot of the same views. They were debating, nay -- bickering -- the smallest of details. Minutia, if you will.
"It was a very odd debate -- the questioners had to beg them to differ with each other," said CNN senior political analyst Bill Schneider.
The only bit of intrigue in the whole debACLE was the Spanish-speaking panelist who started each question with a little bit of Spanglish; a perfect example of all the pandering that's gone on this election season. As I was getting ready to leave a little after 6:00, I was not at all sorry that I'd be missing the rest of the "action." I knew CNN would fill me in on the details when I came in for work on Friday. And boy did they ever...
Oh wait, no they didn't. NOTHING happened last night. It was ALL bullshit. And CNN knows it. It's so great to see a network devote so much money and attention to an event, have it disappoint immensely, and watch them pretend (rather convincingly) that it was the most important event in both Clinton and Obama's campaigns. I've been watching CNN for about seven hours now, and the only topic from the debate they've discussed is the "plagiarism" "scandal." I don't want to get into it in this post, but you can see what's up by clicking here. I think Obama defended himself pretty well, actually.
If that was the most controversial moment of the debate, you can see why CNN just ran a weak-ass report dissecting -- or nitpicking -- one of Obama's anecdotes that I'm sure was supposed to be meaningful. Basically he told a story about an army officer in Afghanistan in 2003 who had 15 out of 34 men get transferred out of his unit and into Iraq. Obama continued that the unit had to scrounge for weapons, sometimes taking them from Taliban forces they'd captured... Well, apparently that story was bullshit. You see, those 15 men weren't transferred to Iraq. MOST of them were, but not all of them. So Obama had lied. Regardless, 15 men were removed from the officer's unit. As for the weapons, the unit found themselves with a lot of broken firearms that weren't replaced in a timely manner, and ended up taking Taliban weapons and using them as their own. They even had to use a Taliban .50 cal to mount on their Humvee. Yes, that's the weapon that provides the primary defense for their vehicle. It broke, and they had to replace it with one they confiscated from the enemy. But they weren't "scrounging," so Obama's anecdote was bullshit. Right?
Gawd... But that's the price you pay for choosing to be a 24-hour news channel: you gotta take some real meaningless shit and dress it up to look like controversy.
Only 9 more months of this shit...
All day yesterday CNN had a clock counting down the hours, minutes and seconds until the much-hyped debate at the University of Texas in Austin. I will admit that I fell into the Ticker Trap and was anxiously awaiting the start of the debate. Come 5:00 PST, I was ready. Come 5:02 PST, I was bored and disappointed. Why did I even bother getting my hopes up, I asked myself. This wasn't going to be an interesting debate, and I should have known that. Obama and Clinton are both Democrats. They share a lot of the same views. They were debating, nay -- bickering -- the smallest of details. Minutia, if you will.
"It was a very odd debate -- the questioners had to beg them to differ with each other," said CNN senior political analyst Bill Schneider.
The only bit of intrigue in the whole debACLE was the Spanish-speaking panelist who started each question with a little bit of Spanglish; a perfect example of all the pandering that's gone on this election season. As I was getting ready to leave a little after 6:00, I was not at all sorry that I'd be missing the rest of the "action." I knew CNN would fill me in on the details when I came in for work on Friday. And boy did they ever...
Oh wait, no they didn't. NOTHING happened last night. It was ALL bullshit. And CNN knows it. It's so great to see a network devote so much money and attention to an event, have it disappoint immensely, and watch them pretend (rather convincingly) that it was the most important event in both Clinton and Obama's campaigns. I've been watching CNN for about seven hours now, and the only topic from the debate they've discussed is the "plagiarism" "scandal." I don't want to get into it in this post, but you can see what's up by clicking here. I think Obama defended himself pretty well, actually.
If that was the most controversial moment of the debate, you can see why CNN just ran a weak-ass report dissecting -- or nitpicking -- one of Obama's anecdotes that I'm sure was supposed to be meaningful. Basically he told a story about an army officer in Afghanistan in 2003 who had 15 out of 34 men get transferred out of his unit and into Iraq. Obama continued that the unit had to scrounge for weapons, sometimes taking them from Taliban forces they'd captured... Well, apparently that story was bullshit. You see, those 15 men weren't transferred to Iraq. MOST of them were, but not all of them. So Obama had lied. Regardless, 15 men were removed from the officer's unit. As for the weapons, the unit found themselves with a lot of broken firearms that weren't replaced in a timely manner, and ended up taking Taliban weapons and using them as their own. They even had to use a Taliban .50 cal to mount on their Humvee. Yes, that's the weapon that provides the primary defense for their vehicle. It broke, and they had to replace it with one they confiscated from the enemy. But they weren't "scrounging," so Obama's anecdote was bullshit. Right?
Gawd... But that's the price you pay for choosing to be a 24-hour news channel: you gotta take some real meaningless shit and dress it up to look like controversy.
Only 9 more months of this shit...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Guess It Wasn't A Big Deal Afterall
The satellite I mentioned yesterday was safely destroyed by the U.S. Navy. We can all rest easy. Or can we...?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Blowing Up A Fucking Satellite
Is anybody else scared shitless about this whole satellite-falling-to-Earth-and-maybe-releasing-a-
cloud-of-toxic-gas-and-the-only-way-to-prevent-it-
is-for-the-U.S.-Navy-to-launch-a-sixty-million-
dollar-missile-with-only-a-ten-second-window? I don't know about you, but I don't like it one bit! This sounds WAY too "Armageddon" to me, and we all know how that piece of shit went. Also, this is reminiscent of China shooting down one of their own satellites awhile back, much to the chagrin of the U.S. government. So how is this any different? It's all a bunch of macho posturing to try to scare the Chinese. Well I'll tell you this: The Chinese do not get scared! They have the world's biggest land army. 'Nuff said. Sheeit, if people think this will do anything to affect how China does business, just look at the whole situation in Sudan. While all the world cries Genocide, China is the government's main supplier of fucking weapons! Do they give a fuck? No!
Don't know why I went off on that tangent about China. My main point is that I really don't think this missile is going to work. Call me a hysteric, but I honestly think the missile will miss the target, which will then lead to there being not only an errant satellite, but a missile as well. This is as exciting as it is pant-shit-worthy.
On a side note: the phrase "satellite" gets it's roots from the Roman God Saturn, who in turn is the Greek God Cronos. For those of you who aren't as into Greek Mythology as I am, Cronos was Zeus' dad. Yes, Zeus, the badass of all badasses, had a dad, who was even more of a badass that Zeus. Think about it: Zeus is only half the man (read: God) Cronos is. Cronos ate his kids. Cronos' penis turned into Aphrodite. Cronos had sex with Mother Earth... If I were the U.S. Navy, I'd think twice about launching a missile at the God who couldn't tell the difference between a boulder and a baby -- even after eating it.
cloud-of-toxic-gas-and-the-only-way-to-prevent-it-
is-for-the-U.S.-Navy-to-launch-a-sixty-million-
dollar-missile-with-only-a-ten-second-window? I don't know about you, but I don't like it one bit! This sounds WAY too "Armageddon" to me, and we all know how that piece of shit went. Also, this is reminiscent of China shooting down one of their own satellites awhile back, much to the chagrin of the U.S. government. So how is this any different? It's all a bunch of macho posturing to try to scare the Chinese. Well I'll tell you this: The Chinese do not get scared! They have the world's biggest land army. 'Nuff said. Sheeit, if people think this will do anything to affect how China does business, just look at the whole situation in Sudan. While all the world cries Genocide, China is the government's main supplier of fucking weapons! Do they give a fuck? No!
Don't know why I went off on that tangent about China. My main point is that I really don't think this missile is going to work. Call me a hysteric, but I honestly think the missile will miss the target, which will then lead to there being not only an errant satellite, but a missile as well. This is as exciting as it is pant-shit-worthy.
On a side note: the phrase "satellite" gets it's roots from the Roman God Saturn, who in turn is the Greek God Cronos. For those of you who aren't as into Greek Mythology as I am, Cronos was Zeus' dad. Yes, Zeus, the badass of all badasses, had a dad, who was even more of a badass that Zeus. Think about it: Zeus is only half the man (read: God) Cronos is. Cronos ate his kids. Cronos' penis turned into Aphrodite. Cronos had sex with Mother Earth... If I were the U.S. Navy, I'd think twice about launching a missile at the God who couldn't tell the difference between a boulder and a baby -- even after eating it.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
What is there to write about?
I've got a blog, too! Most of my close friends have one, so I figured I might as well join the fun.
I tell you, people: I've been having some really fucked up dreams lately. They're not fucked up in the same way as Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" or Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein," though. Their dreams, albeit strange and crazy, weren't nearly as fucked up as mine. Their dreams allowed them to each write a series of beloved novels, both of which have been adapted into films numerous times (IMDb lists over 20,000 movies based on both authors' works) and I'm sure their estates are filthy rich because of it. But me... nah... my crazy ass dreams can't be made into books or movies. They always lack the essential plot points that prevent them from making any fucking sense. I had a temporarily badass dream just last night, for example:
I was part of a domestic terrorism group that was supposed to plant two car bombs near a dam or reservoir that served a major metropolitan area. Let's say it was Cleveland. I think the plan was to flood the city so the President would visit the city and pledge to help all the displaced citizens (a la New Orleans), and then assassinate him while he was making his speech. So me and my brother planted the bombs, and as we were walking away we were like, "Oh shit! People in Cleveland are gonna die!" I know, I know. Who cares about Cleveland? But we stopped being terrorists and suddenly wanted to save everyone. We tried to deactivate the bombs before they detonated, but we got there just as they exploded. The first bomb didn't break the dam, but the second one busted it wide open. The humongous blast of water that fell on us was pretty fucking sweet, and if done right, could have been the cornerstone of this political-action-thriller. I seriously woke up thinking that one scene would have been one of those awesome "Whoa" moments. But shit! The rest of the film would make no fucking sense! It had a good(-ish) plot, but had WAY too many ridiculous holes. I gave up one adapting it into a screenplay before I even took my morning piss.
My point is, I think when Mary Shelley was sleeping and Lewis Carroll was tripping off mushrooms, their dreams weren't as fucked up as mine that they couldn't turn their craziness into the famous works of art they are. So fuck my dreams. And fuck whoever else gets rich off shit they didn't even think of themselves. That's plagiarism.
I tell you, people: I've been having some really fucked up dreams lately. They're not fucked up in the same way as Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" or Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein," though. Their dreams, albeit strange and crazy, weren't nearly as fucked up as mine. Their dreams allowed them to each write a series of beloved novels, both of which have been adapted into films numerous times (IMDb lists over 20,000 movies based on both authors' works) and I'm sure their estates are filthy rich because of it. But me... nah... my crazy ass dreams can't be made into books or movies. They always lack the essential plot points that prevent them from making any fucking sense. I had a temporarily badass dream just last night, for example:
I was part of a domestic terrorism group that was supposed to plant two car bombs near a dam or reservoir that served a major metropolitan area. Let's say it was Cleveland. I think the plan was to flood the city so the President would visit the city and pledge to help all the displaced citizens (a la New Orleans), and then assassinate him while he was making his speech. So me and my brother planted the bombs, and as we were walking away we were like, "Oh shit! People in Cleveland are gonna die!" I know, I know. Who cares about Cleveland? But we stopped being terrorists and suddenly wanted to save everyone. We tried to deactivate the bombs before they detonated, but we got there just as they exploded. The first bomb didn't break the dam, but the second one busted it wide open. The humongous blast of water that fell on us was pretty fucking sweet, and if done right, could have been the cornerstone of this political-action-thriller. I seriously woke up thinking that one scene would have been one of those awesome "Whoa" moments. But shit! The rest of the film would make no fucking sense! It had a good(-ish) plot, but had WAY too many ridiculous holes. I gave up one adapting it into a screenplay before I even took my morning piss.
My point is, I think when Mary Shelley was sleeping and Lewis Carroll was tripping off mushrooms, their dreams weren't as fucked up as mine that they couldn't turn their craziness into the famous works of art they are. So fuck my dreams. And fuck whoever else gets rich off shit they didn't even think of themselves. That's plagiarism.
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